A friend sent me this article on the English language which I found to be not only true but very amusing. For those who one way or the other need to deal with this language, will probably find it an interesting read and an amusing one at that. For your reading pleasure :
The English language
You Think English is Easy??? Read to the end . . . a new twist to an oldie ;
Can you read these right the first time?
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a strange language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
PS. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP . We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so........... it is time to shut UP .........!
Oh . . . one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P
Monday, August 21, 2006
Monday, August 14, 2006
Home Alone
As the title suggest, I am home alone again, "sort of". Not that I am totally alone as my younger son is still around. My wife is not around. Gone for some meeting. So I have the house to myself for the most part of the day. Not that it means much to have the house to myself as I don't cook, can't conjure a decent drink and we also don't have a garden for me to potter around in. I'd rather share it with my wife. She would be cleaning the house, cutting some fruits, making coffee or some wifely thing while I watched TV or just lazed around. That's the life.
It feels good to have people around you. Now I have the TV, the computer, the fridge, the car and the whole house and feeling quite bored. It's not about food or drinks as I can get them quite easily. Breakfast is served just behind our row at the local coffee shop. Lunch and dinner I have to buy anyway. It's about the companionship. Somebody to talk to or argue with or to yell at even. Not that we yell at each other but that there is an opportunity to do so if someone was there with you.
Even the TV shows are not so attractive as there is no one to laugh with or pass comments to about the silly show we were watching! I even went to bed at such an unbelievable hour. My late nights on the net didn't seem so inviting with no one to yell at me to come to bed. That's what married life can do to a man.
Things will be back to normal by tomorrow night. The plane arrives at 8.40pm, I think. Anyway, she is sure to call and keep me informed about such matters as I am the official driver around here.
It feels good to have people around you. Now I have the TV, the computer, the fridge, the car and the whole house and feeling quite bored. It's not about food or drinks as I can get them quite easily. Breakfast is served just behind our row at the local coffee shop. Lunch and dinner I have to buy anyway. It's about the companionship. Somebody to talk to or argue with or to yell at even. Not that we yell at each other but that there is an opportunity to do so if someone was there with you.
Even the TV shows are not so attractive as there is no one to laugh with or pass comments to about the silly show we were watching! I even went to bed at such an unbelievable hour. My late nights on the net didn't seem so inviting with no one to yell at me to come to bed. That's what married life can do to a man.
Things will be back to normal by tomorrow night. The plane arrives at 8.40pm, I think. Anyway, she is sure to call and keep me informed about such matters as I am the official driver around here.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Senseless Killing
Another victim of a snatch thief in Kuantan. Ng Chiew Lim , a 25 year old sales girl was pushed down a stairway by a snatch thief in a shopping mall on Sunday. She succumbed to head injuries without regaining consciousness the next day.
On the 29th of July two robbers on a motorcycle attacked the first-year Tunku Abdul Rahman College (KTAR) accountancy student when he was walking back to his hostel with a friend after having dinner nearby and hacked him to death.
The police have responded with this plan to set up a number of CCTV's(closed circuit television) in and around Kuala Lumpur. A total of 255 of these cameras currently only used to man traffic in the city will soon be helping police fight rising crime. Known as the Integrated Transport Information System (Itis), it has already helped the force to solve vehicle thefts, robberies, kidnap and murder cases. The RM365mil system assumed the crime-fighting role when police requested for help from the company which managed the system.
I think it is good that the police are using any means available to them to fight crime. But I think they should not be overly dependent on these electronic gadgets. They should get back to basics of patroling these areas to prevent crime rather than trying to solve them after they have been committed using high tech equipment.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Malaysia's Education System
Read an article in one of our local dailies regarding our education system. Augusto Lopez-Claros, chief economist and director of the global competitiveness programme at the Geneva-based World said that our education system has a lot of catching up to do. He said we need to look at Taiwan, South Korea and Israel as benchmarks to help us improve our system.
Taiwan and South Korea maybe but Israel, I don't think that is a good choice right now. Anyway, he was commenting on their tremendous improvement because of their attitude towards education and the resources they have put to train their labour force. They also seem to have a close collaboration between the business communities and their universities. By doing so they can produce what the market needs and the end result as in South Korea which used to be an agriculture economy is now a high technology power today. Agusto went on to say that Israel has also evolved from a major citrus exporter to a high technology power house due to its enormous investment in education.
Can we evolve into a high technology power house? We could if we had some minor changes to the education line up that we have right now. At the moment our education policy makers can't seem to see further than their noses. Look at the "Ethnic Relations Book" bungle. It needed the Prime Minister to solve it. Certain universities are more concerned with the women's headgear than upgrading their educational level. Look at what happened at UPM. The students acted like thugs. There's no intergration and this seems to be exactly what some people want. We need to change these worms that came out of the woodwork and who are now sitting in management positions and making stupid decisions. Some are even lecturing!
If Malaysia is going to be a high technology power house we need to have a different mindset. We need to think of ourselves as Malaysians. We must not hear of students who obtain 11A's not getting scholarships. We should not have to read about those handicapped high achievers who can't get admission to universities because of their handicap. There must be a working system that will cater for these students who do well in their studies. We do not need the minister to step in to help. We can do it if we leave the politics out of education and think of the bigger picture - our country. If this isn't a wake up call I don't know what is.
Taiwan and South Korea maybe but Israel, I don't think that is a good choice right now. Anyway, he was commenting on their tremendous improvement because of their attitude towards education and the resources they have put to train their labour force. They also seem to have a close collaboration between the business communities and their universities. By doing so they can produce what the market needs and the end result as in South Korea which used to be an agriculture economy is now a high technology power today. Agusto went on to say that Israel has also evolved from a major citrus exporter to a high technology power house due to its enormous investment in education.
Can we evolve into a high technology power house? We could if we had some minor changes to the education line up that we have right now. At the moment our education policy makers can't seem to see further than their noses. Look at the "Ethnic Relations Book" bungle. It needed the Prime Minister to solve it. Certain universities are more concerned with the women's headgear than upgrading their educational level. Look at what happened at UPM. The students acted like thugs. There's no intergration and this seems to be exactly what some people want. We need to change these worms that came out of the woodwork and who are now sitting in management positions and making stupid decisions. Some are even lecturing!
If Malaysia is going to be a high technology power house we need to have a different mindset. We need to think of ourselves as Malaysians. We must not hear of students who obtain 11A's not getting scholarships. We should not have to read about those handicapped high achievers who can't get admission to universities because of their handicap. There must be a working system that will cater for these students who do well in their studies. We do not need the minister to step in to help. We can do it if we leave the politics out of education and think of the bigger picture - our country. If this isn't a wake up call I don't know what is.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
